A mental health practice with life’s inconsistencies

Real life isn’t a formula.

Therapy isn’t a formula.

Shit gets messy.

It isn’t realistic to think that I will always have it together.

The only piece of advice I can confidently offer across the board is that consistency is key.

There is a practice we all should follow in order to hold on to our mental health throughout the highs and lows in life. This practice has some similarities for most but is very unique and different according to each individual life and story.

Again, consistency in your mental health practice is important.

Through the mess, through the joy, through it all.

I don’t always have time to put me first.

There are weeks that I am actually last on the list.

And, of course when I go on IG and I see all the other therapy pages, I feel shitty.

I start to question myself and if I am just doing things wrong.

And then, the list of the things I should be doing pops into my thought patterns.  

“I should wake up at 5 am and take an hour to myself”

“I should wake up earlier to get the workout in”

“I should have a morning routine”

“I should be more disciplined”

“I should be stronger”

“I should smile more”

“I should say my affirmations”

“I should journal”

“I should food prep”

Maybe it will all be easier if I follow all the “should’s above”.

Phew. Those thoughts are tiring as hell and heavy to carry.

The truth is that some weeks are more difficult because life is life: children get sick, adults get sick, food needs to be cooked, laundry made, bills pile up, conflict arises all around, people die, family members have crises, and work gets super busy.

Then, the pendulum hits my way and I get to put myself first.

I get to go on walks first thing in the morning, I get to work out daily, and eat good nourishing food.

Everyone is healthy and I get to go on dates with my husband.

What stays consistent regardless of where the pendulum stands is my mental health workout (as I call it).

I work hard on controlling my thoughts and leaning into gratitude and joy.

When the “I should” thoughts pop in, I feel grateful because those thoughts once helped me survive hardship, but then remind myself that they no longer serve me. I call this: giving myself a huge bear hug.

I practice self-compassion, which basically means that I allow myself to be in any emotional state I need to be without judgment and engage in activities that move me out of difficulty and into ease.

Remember: guilt and shame freeze us while gratitude and compassion frees us.

With this post, I hope you realize that life is messy and there is no one formula that will completely take that away. However, knowing yourself, practicing compassion for self/others, knowing your mental health practice, and consistently leaning into gratitude can ease the heaviness of difficulties. It won’t always look perfect and it doesn’t have to, because our goal is a consistent lifestyle within the messiness of life, not perfection.

Breathe in: I am free to be me

Breathe out: I release perfectionism